How to Do It: Totally Random Question #1

A Spam poem

In a spam mail that I got in October, I got this collection of words.  All the carriage returns are where they were, but I did move around the lines a little.  It's quite beautiful, and just right for the holiday season:

VII. Hudson and His Strait; Baffin and His Bay 

This drizzling three-day January thaw,

Covering the land— 

In dense bare branches, 

or the ubiquitous wind, sleet. 

The branches sway,    

Figures of light and dark, 

these two are walking their bellies, 

they're out cold, instantaneously 

Of a far barn, just where the road curves sharply 

Is dumb; he is the mute white stony shape   

Your gloved hands covering your lips' good-bye   

I've drifted somewhat from the distant heart 

giddy as good kids playing hookey.

Now, for a few weeks, statistics won't seem   

Late February, and the air's so balmy 

The pain of being born into matter. 

to restaurants for Early Bird Specials. 

To a higher level of appearance.

 By the design of our own silent eyes

Nerds Take Over Youtube for Charity

On December 17th and 18th, many of the most popular channels on youtube are taking over prominent pages of youtube to raise money for charity while celebrating nerdiness in an event being called "The Nerdfighter Power Initiative."

read more | digg story

30th Birthday Itinerary

I was once told by someone that I write funny itineraries.  It's fun to see the flow of what was (or will be) an exciting day.  Here is the itinerary for my 30th Birthday!

Dec 7 - Dec 8

11:59pm - 12:01am - I watched the final episode of the show - with ze frank as I crossed the meridian of 20s-hood to 30s-hood.  It was quite a positive experience.  I suggest this method of age transference to all sports racers everywhere.

---

ze frank :: final the show

12:15am - Sleep.  Long day tomorrow...

9am - Breakfast with 3 close friends was scheduled at the nearest Village Inn.  Only Jon showed up... At least Brett called...  

Breakfast was going according to plan, when Jon and I noticed that there was an unusually high concentration of handicapped Mexican children at Village Inn.  No big deal...

UNTIL SANTA SHOWED UP!

And it wasn't even regular Santa... it was Wheelchair Santa™.

It was still pretty cool, until one of the kids, who apparently couldn't speak, used his talking machine to sing Christmas carols.  I lost it.  I think Jon got a video of it.  I'll post it later.

30 is weird.

12:20pm - Just got off the phone with my parents.  For those that know me well, you realize that this is a big step.

about 1pm - I'm realizing that my TMJ that's been bad since I was a teenager is now mysteriously ok... hmm...

3:30pm - TCA Rehearsal.  Pretty good, lots of reading.  This Endris Night is off to a good start.  Rehearsal lasted till 6.

6:15pm - Return home, establish wardrobe.  Charlie needs to go out one last time (poor Chucks had a LONG stay in HQ last night!).  

6:20pm - Ready for Jon to pick me up.  Realize you have dog shit on your shoes.  

6:21pm - Jon shows up.  Put new shoes on.  Leave for mystery first location.

At this point, I need to explain that the theme of the birthday celebration was "The 3 B's".  I was not allowed to know what the three B's were for, but would slowly be introduced to them as the night progressed.

6:45pm - Arrive at Sullivan's, a very nice steak house.  I was told by Jon that the full roster would be a cozy group of Jon and Lindsey, and Justin and Molly.  It turned out to be 11 people.  Jon is a sneaky guy.  So, I had thought that Sullivan's would be an appropriate place to have dinner, but I was TOTALLY thrown off by the fact that the theme is the 3 B's.  It turns out that the first B was for "Beef" (or "Booze").  

Unbelievable dinner.  Complimentary JUMBO shrimp (cause they had to move our table) for everyone, Seared Ahi in an amazing sauce, an 8 oz. filet, two more jumbo shrimp (this time stuffed with King Crab.), a lemon-souffle, and a chocolate frosted birthday cake.  Wash all of this down with 3 glasses of Veuve and 2 glasses of iced tea, and you get one very happy Minus!

9:30pm (WHOA!  Dinner took almost 3 hours!), the second B was exposed a little at dinner.  BOWLING.  We went to laser (-finger pew pew pew) bowling (or cosmic bowling, or whatever the kids call it now).  A few more friends were there and we had a grand old time.  The highlight for Minus was bowling my FIRST TURKEY EVER!!!  a 123 game that would have been better had I been using the same ball throughout.  Oh well, I GOT A TURKEY - wOOt!

11:30pm - we decide in the middle of a game that bowling is growing tiresome.  The powers that be (B?) decide that it's time to move to the last B.  Somehow, I was under the impression that the 3rd B was going to our favorite club.  I thought this because someone let the location slip, and a couple of girls were going (or slightly coerced into going).  It turns out the third B was "Babes" or "Boobs" cause they wanted me to go to Curves (not the workout place... well... it's KIND OF a workout place...).  I felt a little bad about going to a strip club with girls (these aren't the crazy kind of girls that would just love a strip club...).  So, I pulled a Payton Manning, called an audible at the line, and we went to the club instead.

Lots of drinking, hanging out in the posh atmosphere, dancing, playing a game of PASS THE DOLLAR, and frivolity of various and sundry sizes.  

2:20am - Officially 30+1 day, Whitney drove me home.  

The end.

All in all, probably my best birthday party ever.  Many thanks to ALL the people that worked hard and shelled out cash to pull this off.  Special thanks especially to Jon Peterson, the ringleader of them all.  

I still have the collective writings of everyone in the birthday book, which I think I'll go read now.  

==minus==

How to Do It: SPECIAL EDITION! - Roof Jump

Minus is on Birthday Vacation, so I decided to post a three year old video of three friends jumping off a roof into a pool.  This is a testament to being bored, drinking too much, and having a pool at your disposal at 2am.  

Birthday itinerary to follow.

Good as (if not BETTER than) new!

Ok... so I drove around in a Nissan Pathfinder for a day.  Those things are HUGE!  And they guzzle gas like a MoFo™.  Anyway... so I got a call from the autobody shop, and they said that the spraypaint could be removed with a solvent!  WEEEEE!  

~$60 for the car rental for 2 days

$44 for the clean up (and they DETAILED the whole car!  It's like I got a new car today!)

I've paid this much for a detail and an oil change before, so, no BIG loss.  AND, I got pictures of my car with a shitty tag!  WEEEEEEE!

Kid Playing Video Games Gets Attacked by a Dog

Ok... so I had a pretty shitty day this morning... but this made me feel SO! much better...

BMW + tag = shitty shitty car

Call into Progressive.  Hopefully this will be settled quickly.

and I thought I liked my neighborhood...

Last day of Tuesday classes ever.  I thought I'd pre-celebrate by running to Starbucks.  Grabbed a Venti White Chocolate Mocha and zoomed to class.  

In the haze that was the pre-Caffeine period of my morning I must have missed the large gang symbol now tattooed on the drivers-side door or my car.  

I did not miss it as I got out of my car and went to class.  

Pictures, reactions, and probably an insurance claim to follow.

MAZE

(time code -1:15, or 0:23) - Phil added my pic to the collection. w00t. Finally someone not named minus has added a pic of me on YouTube